....for the stars, and not quite touching them.Today was a very bad day for me, plan wise, emotionally and physically. Spiritually, it was a good day, I attended Easter vigil Mass with Gina and it was very uplifting.
However, I came home to hell with a very big mouth and enough negativity to fill a stadium, let alone a home. Support is practically non existant. If I am quitting smoking, it's a happier place to be, but this being an addiction and my not being able to quit this addiction lends itself to the most unhappy place on the planet.
No, it's not my health that is the concern here, it's the price of a pack of cigarettes, I agree it is a very steep price, but not one that is regulated by me.
I didn't last long without a cigarette and feel like there is no way I can stop right now. I'm sure I want to stay on this plan, but my life is not conducive to attempting it in a harmonious environment. This is not a cry for help. I am just having an extremely hard day.
Grandmom Suez used to say, better days ahead.......from her mouth to God's ears.
Sunny Girl;
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'm sorry you had such a bad day. It is terrible that you have no support at home for what you are doing. It has to be very difficult. I think you'd be better off right now just concentrating on loosing the weight, then maybe when you are in a better place with the weight loss, work on the smoking. Trying both may be just too unrealistic.
You should try not to miss meals, regardless of what's going on, because your protein will make you stronger!
Know that you do have the support of Ed and I, and the other 'village' members of this blog. We may not be directly in front of you when you are facing stress, but you are in our thoughts.
Love you Sunny.
DON
I 2nd what Don had to say....maybe just cutting down on the "Cigs" right now would be less stressful while you are being so dedicated to your weight loss plan.Once you and your body has totally adjusted to loosing the weight you can begin to elimiate the smoking habit.Plus,Sunny, your body is also trying to heal (foot)itself,that and dealing with the pain/discomfort on a daily basis is asking alot of yourself.Give yourself permission for baby steps right now...eat your protein, and when you want to vent or cry out,know that we hear you and are sending positive thoughts and cyber (((hugs))). Galpal
ReplyDeleteI know... I can't believe him sometimes. I just can't. I don't know who he turned into but I don't even know who he is anymore. You know I'm here for you and when you go back to the doc just ask for chantix again. I love you mom, no matter what. And thanks for coming to mass with me! =) I'm glad you can share my enjoyment with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI love you all, thank you so much!!!
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