Two Cousins Road to Success

A time and a place... for everything

2010-02-05T17:33:00.003-05:00

Hi all...

I truly believe there is a time for everything... I am still trying to find the 'time' that is right for me to begin again on my journey. I have had several false starts since the beginning of the year. I'm not going to beat myself up, because frankly, I know when I finally put my foot back on the pedal, I'll be heading down the road again. It just has to be the right time and I need to be in the right mind set.

Sunny, I understand the trials you are going through with your dental health, and how it is effecting your ability to continue. I know you well enough to know that when you are mentally and physically ready, you will be back as well.

Until we are back on the road, everyone please help us to celebrate our successes thus far and know that we had a successful 2009 and once we begin again, we will again be successful.

Thank you, constant reader, for your love and support, during the up and the down times...

I'll be back at it soon.. I have come far, but have far to go!

:)

2010-02-05T11:28:00.001-05:00

Having a good day, taking it one day at a time right now.
That's the best I can do.

☼Getting Creative...

2010-01-21T15:31:00.003-05:00

...the fish and egg thing got to be too much - even for a day- so I got a little creative today and got some cauliflower, boiled it and drained it well, added Philly cream cheese and butter, salt, pepper and a dash of garlic powder and whipped it up. Yum. I also boiled some escarole and added chicken broth to make a low carb soup.

Shakes and tuna, eggs and veggies are my meals now and it's working.
I feel great being back on plan and it's only been two days. Imagine what two weeks will feel like.

Enjoy the evening, everyone.

A New Beginning...

2010-01-20T07:55:00.002-05:00

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm growing every damn day and I am fed up!!
I can't do this anymore. I feel awful and I feel like I look awful too!
I will not let this dental issue get in my way any longer.

I began my day with a coffee and a shake and I will have tuna salad for lunch. I'll have it again for dinner if I have nothing else too. Eggs are also an option.

I've been eating things like soggy cereal, oatmeal, applesauce, pasta with butter, mashed potatoes, and soft breads....Ughhhhh!!! I feel like a walking, no, make that a sitting CARB!

I have no energy, I am depressed, my clothes are tight and I am disgusted.

I need to get back into life and that means, back to the plan........for good!

Wish me luck, I am on my way back down as of today!!!

It's all good...

2010-01-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

Hi constant readers...

It's all good today. I feel great that I have gotten back on the road to success. Yesterday was 100 percent on plan, including the (Sorry for the tease Sunny)... Prime Rib Roast I cooked for dinner last night. All I have to say about that is OMG... YUMMY. If there was ever any question, I am definitely a meat eater. It was an 11 pound roast, so I'll be in the beef for the next few weeks.

I have great disposition today. I feel good to know that I am not giving-in to temptations, and that I have my goal in site. I am excited about the cruise we will be going on in September, and the thought that I'll be even thinner then.

So, life is good, I am good... and on PLAN!ife

Here Goes...

2010-01-18T10:37:00.003-05:00

The "Ten Things That Make Me Happy"

1. My amazing children
2. My friends here at the blog
3. Living where there are trees and open space (the city is nice to visit)
4. Walking (even on the treadmill)
5. Chewing (lol)
6. My pets
7. Beautiful memories of yesteryears
8. Thinking about a thinner me
9. Snow
10. This moment

I am back... to stay...

2010-01-18T09:45:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone....

Well, honestly, the first two weeks of this year were a disaster for me on my low-carb adventure. I haven't been focusing as much as I should on my journey. I had made excuses that it was because of being over-worked, but really.. it was complacency on my part...

I have given it a lot of thought over this weekend and have decided that, given the journey so far, any excuse is 'no excuse'... so... I'm back on the road and will not accept any more excuses, from myself...

I know that I can continue on this journey and will commit now to posting as often as possible.

Today I plan to go to the gym, go shopping for lots of good low-carb stuff. I plan on getting a rib roast and cooking it tonight so I have plenty of protein for the week.

Sunny, hang in there and I know when your dental tribulations are over, you'll be back 100 percent as well. 'Let's get er done.. little lady..' That's my motto for today.

By the way... I want to give a personal shout-out to anne h . She has made remarkable progress on her adventure, and has been a great supporter / commenter of this blog since she joined... Check out her blog at Carb Tripper.

Mission Impossible?...

2010-01-16T19:19:00.002-05:00

... probably not. I'm not having any success staying on my low carb plan, I just can't drink shakes and eat only foods that have to be sucked down instead of chewed, there needs to be a middle ground for me. So, I am eating things like tuna salad, and shakes...but I slip in some ice cream (the cold feels good and it's soooo comforting) oatmeal and applesauce...stuff like that.

I'll be back to this plan just as soon as my mouth heals and Don will be back in a couple of weeks, I spoke to him recently and he told me his schedule at work has been keeping him very busy.

Sometimes roads have detours, it takes longer to arrive at our destinations. The important thing is that we arrive.

Sad Tuesday...

2010-01-13T08:12:00.002-05:00

...and very painful.

I had two more teeth extracted last night, bringing it to a grand total of 9 missing now...all in the rear of my mouth and one up front is not mine...it's held in with some super glue and adhesive.

I feel like someone kicked me in the face....I look like it too :(

I don't have much choice in foods to eat now, 'cept for anything soft that doesn't have to be chewed. That leaves out a lot of low carb-high proteins unfortunately.

Oatmeal, applesauce, cooked veggies like cauliflower and broccoli...well, you get the idea.

Well, not much else to say 'cept I MISS DON!!!!

Back soon.

:)

2010-01-11T11:09:00.002-05:00

Allz well. Sticking to the diet plan (exercise included) and making it work.

I'm weighing this weekend for the first time in ages.
No, I have no idea how much I gained over the holidays, but in the long run, it doesn't matter. My goal is in my sight..and I have Gina now to help me along...work out's are more fun and so is being more healthy in general, when you have the support and use a 'buddy system.' That's why it worked so well when Don and I blogged on a regular basis. We had all sorts of positive feedback from other's with the same weight issues too, but, he's been working very hard, so be patient...he'll be back when he gets a break.

I went to the dentist this morning for a cleaning and will go tomorrow for more tooth extractions....God, help me.

My meals have not been documented on our meals and exercise page of this blog, but I have been eating lot's of tuna salads and green salads coupled with chicken and fish dishes for dinner and of course my low carb shake every day (my guess is I will be drinking a lot more of them after tomorrow).

I'm off to get busy around the house, lots to do and so little time before everyone gets back from work and school. Enjoy this day, before you know it, it'll be gone.

Messed Up...

2010-01-09T19:29:00.003-05:00

...again last night and had some things I should NOT have had.

But did really well today....sticking to it like glue this weekend.
I want to be able to breathe better, walk more, feel better in my jeans, get in and out of the car with ease, I want to look in a mirror and say, yeah, I look good today instead of, 'O my God, am I fat!!!'

Yeah, I'm not going backward...I refuse to do that.

I Have a Question...

2010-01-06T13:30:00.004-05:00

The pic has nothing to do with the question, I just love this pic of my Marley. :)

It was a busy morning...I was up at 5:45 and cooking eggs and bacon by 6:00. While standing/cooking I realized my ankle was sore, not the one I previously had problems with, but the other one.

I'm not sure if I should walk on it (on the treadmill tonight) to strengthen it or keep it up and stay out of action until the soreness goes away...any suggestions?

Sunny Day!

2010-01-05T11:39:00.004-05:00

Beautiful day today, even if it's a bit cold. It's supposed to be, right?

These past few days have been simply incredible. I feel so good about being back where I need to be. My overindulgence over the holiday is in the past, but it's consequences have placed themselves firmly (or not;) right on my body. My clothes were tighter and my self confidence was all but diminished.

However, being back on track for this very short time has me feeling better already! Puffiness around my eyes are gone, as are my 'kankles'

and getting myself walking again feels sooo good!!

Off to the treadmill!...

Workin' it..

2010-01-04T18:34:00.003-05:00

I wasn't looking forward to my shake this morning (what I really wanted was a bagel with cream cheese) but I went ahead and drank it and realized I was feeling pretty good about it after all. Lots of water in between of course and my ever-present morning cup of coffee! For lunch, I had a two egg omelet with pesto paste and parm DELICIOSO!

I walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill today, not too bad for the first time in a long time. Gina and I worked out to some Lady Ga Ga tunes (Gotta love the Ga Ga Godess) and it was a lot more upbeat than listening to some exercise junky telling me to move my fat ass faster. Also, my ankle feels fine, which means I can stretch it to 30 minutes tomorrow and I'm excited about that.

I'm off to have dinner now and that will be some chicken wings in hot sauce, no breading or flour, and a healthy helping of salad...Not bad, not bad at all!

On My Way :)

Jumping Back in...

2010-01-02T10:25:00.003-05:00

...It's not going to be easy, I've got a huge challenge ahead of me because of my dental issues, but I am ready!

I will have to be creative in finding out how to stave off the carbs without pulverizing my meat in a blender (which I refuse to do) and I will have to welcome different kinds of egg dishes and allowable veggies, for at least a couple of months. This shouldn't be hard for me to do, but any suggestions will be greatly appreciated :)

I also purchased a new pair of walking shoes!! Gina and I will work out almost every night after dinner now that my ankle is better (huge smile) and I am so looking forward to it! It's been a while since I've actually used a comprehensive work-out routine and may I say, it's about time!

I feel very positive about this next step on our journey. Don's recent blogs have been nothing short of complete inspirational motivation for me, and the fact that he looks as amazing as he does is enough to motivate even the most apprehensive person. I would be remiss not to mention the support of Don's friend, (and mine ;) Peggy. Even in our absence, she's been amazingly supportive, and to all the blog readers and commentators.......We thank you!

Here's to success in 2010!

WE WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010 is going to be a MILESTONE year!

2010-01-01T09:17:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year everyone.

2010 is going to be a wonderful year. Because of what I was able to accomplish in 2009, I KNOW that I will reach my goals this year. Stay tuned and watch the excitement, watch it happen... watch me evolve!

Ready to take the wheel...

2009-12-31T10:01:00.003-05:00

Hi all..

Yesterday was another good day on plan. I went to the gym and had a great dinner out with friends. I stayed 100 percent on plan.

Today is New Years Eve.. The end of a great year....

Thank you for coming on the journey with Sunny and myself. We have come a long way this year.. and will continue to strive towards our goals in 2010.

I am proud of us both, for accomplishing what we have this year, and for committing to the continued journey in the new year.

We are 'Ready to take the wheel...' in 2010 and continue to move forward down our roads, towards good health.

So, selfishly, I say.. .Congratulations to us, Sunny... and here is to a successful 2010!

Day 3.. and I'm on my way...

2009-12-30T15:26:00.002-05:00

Hi... Yesterday and today have been good days. 100 percent on plan yesterday and went to the gym. I also went to the gym today, and am meeting friends for dinner. I'll have a salad with protein.

I feel great back on plan. I'm glad I decided to start early and get this journey back under way.

Best to everyone.

Day 2... of many...

2009-12-29T09:49:00.004-05:00

Hi all..

Yesterday was a great day on plan. Ed and I had lunch with our good friend Peggy, then drove to Lahaska PA. It's great to have time off around the holidays.

I did well all day, had a steak and vegetables for lunch, some eggs with mozzarella for dinner and shaved ice with crystal light as a desert. Day 1 down..

Today I had an Protein shake for breakfast and am going to head out for the gym. BRRRR is it cold out there.

Everyone have a great day, and thanks for the support.

... and the Journey Continues...

2009-12-28T15:42:00.003-05:00

With no guilt, or regret, I return to my road, happy that I enjoyed the holiday season with my friends and family. I did not overdo by any means, but I did have carbs which I would not normally allow myself.

Now, I am recharged and re-energized to begin again. This year I went from the 400's to the 300's, my goal for 2010 is to progress from my 300's into the 200's, maybe even reach my goal weight. BUT.. I realize that I have to set realistic goals.

I decided today not to wait until 'the new year' to get back on the road, but instead to make the choice right now, to get back in the saddle and do what I know I can do. I have been so much happier with the weight gone, and I want the rest gone as well.

So, stay tuned, my friends... and enjoy the ride with me.

Happy New Year to everyone... 2010 is going to be a wonderful ride!

Happy New Year!!

2009-12-27T13:08:00.000-05:00

Be Back Soon!

Sidetracked...

2009-11-30T13:27:00.002-05:00

...Today, I took my second trip to the dentist in a month. I have always had nice teeth, my smile was the one thing that I was confident about...until now. A few months ago, I had two top, left side, back teeth extracted. Two weeks ago, I had my one front, top tooth extracted and today, four of my top, right side, back teeth extracted. I am now MINUS 7 TEETH!!!!

I have extensive bone loss in my jaw and the teeth are simply falling away from my gums.

As of today, I cannot chew on either side of my mouth OR the front.
I asked the dentist about my diet and laughed out loud when he said......"Just stick with pasta, rice, soft breads, oatmeal and puddings, stuff like that!!!"

:( I am truly at a loss here. I do not want to gain all this weight back (I've gained some already over this holiday) but I cannot worry over this. I'll have to hop back on this path when all is said and done, which my dentist says won't be until January.

I am feeling a certain sense of failure and I know it's not my fault, but that fact doesn't seem to make it any easier for me. Feeling sorry for myself?...maybe a little.

I miss the incredible feeling of weight loss, and I am praying the healing time passes quickly...if you are so inclined, say a prayer for me, please.

Happy Thanksgiving To All....

2009-11-26T10:00:00.001-05:00

...ENJOY! Love, Don & Sunny

Giving myself permission...!!!

2009-11-22T11:17:00.003-05:00

Hi All...

So here is where I am at....

I have decided to give myself permission to enjoy the holidays, but NOT OVERDO any carb eating. I will have that dish I want, but I will not over do anything.. that has always been my downfall in the past.

I know that through this, I may gain couple of pounds over the holiday period, but I will do this guilt free.. knowing that after the New Year, in January, I will be back on this plan in full force.

I have accomplished a lot since March, and loosing 110 pounds is only part of it... I have really changed my life, and how I interact with my food. I know that I can control myself.

I also realize that the method I have chosen to loose weight, 'The low-carb way', is only one choice of how to loose. It REALLY WORKS for me, and so I vow to be back on the 'Low-Carb-Highway' as soon as the holidays are over...

Life for me, is really not about missing moments, or feeling deprived... my weight loss journey is not about that... It's about learning how to really live with the fact that I love food, but I must not over-endulge... and this I have learned!

I have absolutely no guilt or hesitation about this decision, and I know that those of you who support me in my efforts, understand that this decision does not mean I will be FAT AGAIN.. that will NEVER happen!

I hope everyone enjoys the holidays as much as I will. I enter this season with a new found respect for myself and my body... I hope each of you has had such a fulfilling journey and has taken the time to be a bit introspective, and reflective!

Everyone enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas!.. I'll be back to blog from time to time...

I Will Find Success

2009-11-18T11:17:00.005-05:00

Precisely why I won't look for reasons that I've strayed.

I am back on today. I am going to do this. I need to.

I will begin to use this page, as I have in the past, to keep me on track, to help me along.

I will log in my meals, as this helps me as well. I need to get back to basics and not stray, especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas so close-by. I've been struggling terribly and had begun to eat anything I wanted. I vow to myself today that those days are over. I'm off to log my breakfast meal and will be back often to update.

Just writing this makes me feel the power. I'm taking back the reins and moving ahead....:)

Slippin' and Slidin'...

2009-11-15T11:25:00.002-05:00

...and having a very hard time staying on track. *Sigh* But I am trying.
I am on my way out, but will get back here asap.....Thanks for staying tuned. You know who you are. ;)

Hey...

2009-11-11T19:24:00.002-05:00

...where did my blog go? I actually think I deleted the one I wrote today by mistake, but the whole idea is that I'm back on track and feeling good about it. I'm looking for work and doing some walking on the treadmill for the first time in ages. My ankle is better and I'm looking to the sky, because that's where the limit is. Enjoy your week!

Staying the course...

2009-11-08T18:18:00.003-05:00

Hi all...

I had a good week. I was very busy with work, teaching classes Monday - Thursday. They were good sessions, but I had forgotten how much teaching takes out of you... b0y was I tired.

I have decided to step back a bit, and get back to basics with my eating plan. I have given myself permission over the past few weeks to 'stray' bit from the strict carb plan, and I have had good control, and have not over-done it, but never the less, I feel a bit 'guilty' because I know I have so much more weight to loose, and I really shouldn't 'loosen my grip' on the road, or I could end up in a ditch.

From time to time, I will allow myself to have something I shouldn't, but I will not make it a daily activity. Starting today (Sunday), I have decided to pretty much go back to my 20 net carbs or less a day. I want to reach my final goal, and I'm only about half way there.

I will be blogging more often, because I find that it keeps me focused on my goal, and I need the focus. I won't feel the pressure to post 'every day', but I need to stay connected to this blog, because it empowers me to be strong and stay focused.

I went to a celebration with Ed on Saturday, and saw a whole side of our family who hadn't seen me since before I started this trip. They were amazed at the transformation in my body. Hearing this from almost everyone who saw me, really made me think about my goal, and about my need to just keep going, and not allow myself too much 'permission'... because deep inside, I know that it could lead to disaster.

I went to the gym 3 times last week, and on Saturday. I'll be sure to go at least twice this week, if not more.

Physically and mentally, I feel great! Thanks for continuing to check in to this site...

Give and Take....

2009-11-01T13:12:00.005-05:00

Hi all...

I am at the same weight as 2 weeks ago. Still at 110 pounds lost. I gave in a little to carbs in the past few weeks and also didn't get as much exercise, because of my work schedule. I made the choices and am ready to take the result!

I am not disappointed with this, in fact, I'm happy that with what I had eaten, I didn't gain any weight! That shows me when I do finally reach the end of this journey and I modify my plan, I know what to do to maintain my weight.

The next two weeks I plan to revert back to the more strict version of my plan, I do want to continue to loose. I AM NOT going to be focused on the scale, however... because I feel great and I know that I am succeeding!

I went to the gym yesterday and twice during the week last week. I will go at least 2 times this week, and on Friday, which I am now off.

This has been a wonderful trip so far, and I look forward to more loss. I had to buy a suit this weekend for a wedding I am going to attend in 2 weeks. Last March, I also had to buy a suit for a wedding. The suit I bought yesterday was 10 sizes smaller in the coat and 12 sizes smaller in the waist! Yeah, I feel great!

Everyone have a great week.

Lookin' Up

2009-10-30T09:46:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm not surprised, I just weighed and I gained 4 lbs.

Planning on having a fabulous day and a great weekend though, I feel good and have a good attitude.

Go Phillies!! Enjoy the weekend everyone:)

It's Raining, But I Feel Sunny ;)

2009-10-28T09:53:00.004-04:00

First let me say.....it's so good to have Don back!

I've not been here in a while because, I was struggling about what to write. I too have been integrating some carbs into my diet and it's slowed my progress to a grinding hault, maybe even put me in reverse. I haven't weighed in weeks and there's a reason for that, it's called, denial. I know it's not going to be good news, so I stay away. But that will change in a few days, I will weigh and I will move on...I've been back on track for a week now and I'm feeling better, but it's just catching up to me...so I doubt there's any loss, I'd be surprised if I even weigh the same at this point, but that's the way it is, so be it.

The attitude is what counts for me and mine is right where it needs to be. I'm understanding that there will be times when I will stray (A BIT) but I've proven to myself that it's not the end of the road, just the normal starts, stops and yields ;) It might take longer to get there, but it's the journey of a lifetime and I'm no longer letting guilt cut me off the road.

I agree with Don 100% about letting in SOME carbs, but I don't work out on a regular basis (lately, not at all) and as a result, my journey will take longer, but that's fine with me.

I've also had a nasty eye infection, but it's feeling better, at least I can see better now....thanks for the well wishes.

Back to logging in my meals and blogging on a regular basis is what will help see me through as well..so I've decided to be more diligent about that too.

Enjoy this rainy day, the sun is going to make a grand entrance any day now ;)

Looking Back.. Looking Forward

2009-10-27T07:05:00.001-04:00

So, yesterday was my first 'normal' work day in 4 months.. if you can call it that. I taught the first class based on all the development work we've been doing to prepare since January. It went well, but, I forgot how much 'teaching' for 8 hours a day takes out of you. I was wiped-out by the end of the day.

Looking back, I am quite pleased with the progress I have made on this journey. I am so much better physically. As a matter of fact, my doctor told me that by January, if I keep up the weight loss, I may be able to come off the Type II Diabetes medication all together. My A1C and Blood sugar levels were excellent at my last visit (about a week ago).

Looking forward, I am excited about what's next. I will continue to stay on this journey until I achieve all that I want to achieve. I have made a decision to not be as 'militant' about the trip, give myself permission (ONLY ONCE IN A WHILE) to have a few more carbs than I would normally. I don't think at this point my path is about deprivation, but control. If this slows my progress, I don't care, because I know I am in control and I know I am still headed in the right direction.

I also know when I do finally reach my goal, that I have to be 'in control', and this shift will help me to prepare for that.

I feel good, I'm doing great and I'm excited to see what is next!

I hope to be blogging more regularly now that I can say that my schedule is somewhat back to normal. Thank you to all of our regular readers/posters for sticking with us, on this trip of a lifetime!

Back soon!!

2009-10-23T09:54:00.001-04:00

My life is finally getting back to normal... work will be slowing down next week. I'll be on this weekend to blog and will be back more often now! I've been doing well, and am at 110 pounds lost.

Back in the Groove

2009-10-21T16:20:00.002-04:00

I am back on track and feeling better emotionally and physically. It only takes a little back slide to make me feel hopeless sometimes and I hate that, I have to keep in mind that some deviation is not the ruination of all my effort. I simply climb back on board and start sailing again....I'll be coasting before you know it!

I miss Don.

Bad Weekend...

2009-10-19T18:38:00.002-04:00

...didn't stay on plan but I am back on track today.

On a lighter note, Stephanie lost almost 10 lbs. in one week...go Steph!

This is a bad time for me, I have a million things going on at once and not all are good. I am not making excuses, simply explaining.

I am looking forward to climbing back on board and keeping my eye on the prize. Have a great week.

It's Baby Day...

2009-10-12T10:53:00.003-04:00

Well, everyone has off from school and work today, and we have a very special visitor...A friend of Gina's (my daughter) and her new baby girl are coming over this afternoon and tonight I am visiting my brand new (she was born on 10/09) grand niece, Sienna. It's so good to have all this new life around us, and considering all the heartache and loss we've had lately, we sure could use a reason to celebrate.

I am doing well and staying the course. Feeling my best and even my heel is feeling better, so I am going to be more diligent when it comes to working out. Beginning this week, Gina and I will start a program and work it out after dinner, even if it just takes 40 minutes of our time each day, it will be a huge help in my progress.

I'll keep you all updated. Thank you, Peggy....it means a lot to know you read and keep up with our progress. Have a wonderful week all!

Trying to be like a DUCK...

2009-10-11T06:41:00.003-04:00

Hi all. It's been a while since I last posted. I am still on plan and dedicated to this journey, I just haven't had a moment to myself to get in here and post. In 2 weeks, my big project at work which I have been working on all summer, is due. I have been working 12, 13 and sometimes 14 hours a day at work to get where we need to be, and it has left time for almost nothing else. I'm happy and proud of all we (the team) has accomplished, but it has really dug into my time. We start the second phase of this project (the training phase) on the 26th of this month, when I will hopefully be going back to a more normal (10 hour day) schedule.

About this journey.. I feel great. I see pictures of myself from last year and I don't even recognize who I was back then. With my new lifestyle and my new routines so ingrained in me now, I can't even remember what it was that allowed me to get to that bad place. I do remember when I would think 'I wish I was able to do more... I wish I wasn't so damn useless...', and guess what... I don't have to wish anymore. I still have a significant amount of weight to loose, but over one hundred pounds of it is now gone, and I do feel better, I can do more, I have more energy, and most importantly... I am not depressed or wishing any more.. I doing.. I'm achieving.. I'm succeeding!

Thanks for continuing to monitor our progress, Thank you, Sunny Girl for keeping the blog going while my schedule is so crazy. Once things get back to normal in my life, I'll be back to blogging more often. For now, know that I am doing well, I am as dedicated as ever to this journey and this process.

The Village is Growing...

2009-10-07T10:58:00.005-04:00

...even if we can't see it.

I spoke to a friend's daughter the other day, she saw that I had lost the weight and wanted to know how she could do it. I was only too happy to point her in the right direction. We spent some time on the phone, going over some do's and don't's and she took a long look at our blog, meal plans, and weight loss chart and decided this was the way to go. She doesn't have a lot to lose, but when you feel uncomfortable carrying an extra 5, 10 or 15 lbs., it can be just as daunting as having to lose a hundred (or so I am told) so I'm sure she'll do it. Younger people (she's only 23) have a much easier time of it too, which is a wonderful thing.

I spoke to her mom yesterday (an avid reader of this blog) and she told me she's done her shopping and has already begun the journey. Another important note...She also works out 4 days a week, so this journey should be a cinch for her ;) Kudos to her for trying something different.

I'm wishing Stephanie all the best, I can't wait to hear about her progress. Now if I can just get her to join the village....lol....for some reason, people seem to have a hard time navigating around this blog. I know of a few people who read all the time, but can't comment because they are at work or simply don't have the time to figure it out.

It's OK.....We're not flying solo and we know it! We have the support of some wonderful family and friends. Thanks to all of you and have a fantastic Wednesday!....Sunny :^)

Inspirational Quote

2009-10-04T11:31:00.002-04:00

Without the Fog

2009-10-04T08:59:00.006-04:00

I woke to a cool, crisp morning, with just a touch of fog. I thought it was the perfect setting to sit and write this, since it is indicative of the way I've always felt. I'm going to try to put that into words...I feel like I am just that, cool and crisp like a new autumn day. I feel new and very different. The fog?....it was just that little something that was in the way of feeling altogether clear.

My weight issue was the one thing that got in the way of feeling clear. It was always there. But now that I'm doing something about it, it doesn't get in my way anymore. This road is getting easier to handle and the fog is lifting more and more with every passing day. I can actually see a brighter day, where once, that wasn't possible. I never realized how depressed the extra pounds were making me feel. Oh I put on a happy face, but now I don't have to, it is who I am. I was on a path of utter destruction....maybe I felt like I didn't deserve to feel clear and crisp, I don't know. All I know is this handle I have on it now, is making me happier than I've been in years.

I'm seeing things in new and different ways and I am loving it. I know that fog is lifting, and I have become the me I always was down under it all and I see beauty in everything now, even myself. A bright new day, without the fog.

In the time it took me to write this, the fog lifted. :)

Enjoy your Sunday....Sunny

She's Back

2009-10-02T13:21:00.002-04:00

Had a great time in Wildwood, I hope to go back in a few months. It's good to be treated like royalty and so good to feel so loved. I stayed on plan and enjoyed every minute of it.

Sorry to hear about Amy, Don, I know she'll be missed, but she'll be loved forever.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Our Amy...

2009-10-01T21:05:00.004-04:00

... we will miss her dearly. She was a part of our family for over 19 years, our first pet. She loved us faithfully, tolerated additions to the family with grace and style, all be it with reluctant acceptance. She taught us what it was to love and be loved unconditionally.

Milestones.. they're a great thing...

2009-09-30T04:47:00.005-04:00

Hi all...

Check out my weigh-in today... I am at 103 pounds lost. I lost 13 pound this period, which was 30 days this time, not the usual 15, because I was on vacation at the last weigh-in date.

I past the 100 pound mark, and couldn't be happier. It's a real milestone for me. I have never lost this much in my life. I am very proud and happy, and my life has change so immensely. It's early, and I have to get to work, but I wanted to do a quick post so that you all would know how wonderful I feel. I could just... bust!

Sunny will send me her weight and I will update her chart tonight... have a great day all..

Spiritual Insight

2009-09-29T19:08:00.005-04:00

A Trip 'n Fall ;)

2009-09-29T18:18:00.008-04:00

First let me say, welcome back, Peggy and I hope you had a wonderful vacation. I liked your comment on the 'Thought for Today' blog so much, that I'll be back to read it over and over again. Thank you so much.

I'm having a great week. I feel upbeat and very happy right now...I do believe I'm on a losing streak! I don't know for sure because I haven't weighed, I really didn't want to know until now. I felt too good, I felt thinner, and I feel healthier than I ever have and I didn't want to be brought down emotionally. I will weigh tomorrow though, it's time.

Now about my trip... I'm going to a friend's house, she lives at the Jersey shore in Wildwood. The weather's been chilly here and although it's not beach weather, I will definitely take that walk and hang out a little bit, maybe even dip my feet in it. As you may or may not know, being near the ocean always soothes me, it's like a healing thing for me that has deep roots going way back into my childhood...let's just say, it's very good for my soul and we could all use a little soul food.

This will be just a little get-away time, I'll be leaving tomorrow and I return on Friday, a very short and sweet trip. I've been getting some things together, like eggs, half and half and splenda (for my coffee) and I'm bringing some steaks, I just have to get my fresh salad greens and fixings and some sugar free Jello tomorrow and I will be all set.

Wishing you a great rest of the week and I'll see you back here sometime Friday! :)

Thought For Today...

2009-09-28T14:33:00.000-04:00

The future gets brighter ... every single day!

2009-09-28T03:21:00.004-04:00

This journey, up to now, has been so uplifting. It continues to drive me to success. Today was a good day (Sunday)... I stayed on plan as usual, and got to the gym.

I again had to go out and buy more clothes for work. All of my shirts are hanging off of me, so I bit the bullet and got some new ones. It was a great feeling. Saturday we went to a BBQ with friends we haven't seen since the holidays last year. Four different couples all were stunned at how different I looked, and every time they 'marveled' over my loss, I felt so proud and happy.

One of my friends there said, "The difficult part will come when people stop noticing, stop praising you for your accomplishments". I understood where she was coming from, but, at the same time, I'm not in this for the praise, and although it goes a long way to motivating me, it is not what 'sustains' me. My inner pride in my accomplishments, my new control and my dedication to my own journey.. is what keeps me on track, and will keep me there for the rest of my life. The rest.... well.... it's just gravy~!

Sunny Says...

2009-09-27T18:53:00.003-04:00

...My very busy weekend turned out to be a lot of fun. I got to see family today that I don't normally see and I spent the day yesterday with some wonderful friends.

Staying on the weight loss journey's been a cinch lately, especially since I stopped fretting over the weight loss stall. I know I'm losing, so I don't even bother to weigh, unless of course it's weigh in time which is (typically) the 1st and last day of the month. Weighing brings me down when I'm stalled and I'm not letting anything hamper my progress. I just keep pushin'.

I went to a memorial for a friend of mine yesterday, it quickly turned into a celebration of her life and a little sad at first, but it became a day full of joy. The food was plentiful and some was not on plan, but these incredible people who are always accommodating and thoughtful of me, know that I can't have certain things, so they always make sure that I have a variety of things from the menu to choose from that are on my plan as well.

Today was spent at baby shower for my niece and I just stayed true, I know what's expected of me, and by me now and I eat accordingly. I don't feel deprived because I've learned to enjoy what I can have, which is key.

I am getting more and more positive feed back about the progress of my weight loss and that always feels good, but what feels even better is that I am feeling positive about staying on course and being true to my goal.

I am very happy that we have some new readers, as I always enjoy getting different views from their comments and visiting their pages as well. The support is greatly appreciated!

Wishing you all an amazing week ahead...~Sunny

Who's Who?

2009-09-27T08:55:00.003-04:00

Hi all...

I thought I'd write this because we have had some new followers join who may not have visited or commented on the blog circuit before. Recently a follower thought I had written a post which was actually written by Sunny Girl, my cousin who is on this journey with me and has done wonderfully!

It's pretty easy to tell who has written a post. Just look at the bottom of each post and you will see either 'Shared by Sunny Girl, or Shared by Don. Also, if you have never 'commented' on a blog before, just click on the ''comments' link just to the right of 'shared by...' and a window will open for you to write us a comment.

Thanks for all who follow, our blog keeps growing and we love all the comments and support you each bring. Thanks for joining, all you new followers, including Gene and Shana, and KJ and Michelle.

Update... Doing Great..

2009-09-26T13:44:00.003-04:00

Hi all...

The first week back from vacation was rather crazy. I'm back on 60 hour weeks, but for only 3 more weeks. The project is coming to a conclusion, and I'll be glad to be back to regular hours.

I went to the gym only once this week, but I've been on plan with my meals all week. We're going to some friends for a BBQ today and I grilled chicken and veggies (eggplant, squash, onions, peppers and portobello mushrooms) to make absolutely sure I have something for myself on plan.

Once my schedule gets back to normal, I'll post more often. This lifestyle has really become 'part of my life' now. I don't even have to think about what I need to do. I've changed so many aspects of my life in this regard, and I am so much better for it...

Life is good!!

Dedication and Confidence

2009-09-25T07:38:00.007-04:00

I had lunch with a an old friend of mine a few days ago, who was aware that I'd taken this journey some months back and at first it was a pleasant conversation. We talked about kids, husbands, politics, funds and a lack thereof, we just talked about life in general.

I purposely didn't mention my weight loss or anything about dieting because I was sensitive to the fact that she has gained a serious amount of weight in the past couple of years. Then she hit me with this question... "So are you still obsessed with this weight loss/no carb thing?" I could feel my temperature rising, I could almost smell blood. I was enraged, I was so incensed that I wanted to ring her neck!! Obsessed??? I kept my cool, and I said something I normally would never say to anyone for fear of hurting their feelings. But damnit, I thought....she wasn't sensitive to mine! I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "Obsessed is just a word that lazy people use to describe the dedicated, so to you, yes, I'm obsessed, but you really should work on that laziness, so you can see it for what it is."

I think my face must have been red or something, because she immediately said, "Wow, OK...take it easy." I retorted and I won't go into detail about the rest of the conversation, but I knew I got my point across loud and clear when she apologized.

The thing is, my original retort was so out of character for the me that I used to be. I think I finally got tired of taking hits for being dedicated (this isn't the first time I've heard the word 'possessed' in relation to my dieting) to something that will only enhance my life, and to have someone attack me for possessing dedication, really pissed me off this time instead of making me question myself (which I will never do again.) I know I'm not obsessed...dedicated is what I am.

I couldn't help but think that turning 50 has brought me into my own, as has this diet. I am truly empowered by being so dedicated and I will defend it to the end. There is a certain self-confidence that I feel now, as opposed to my 30's and 40's, a peace of mind that comes from the dedication I have, a knowing. I won't let anyone sabotage my mind, my diet or the certainty of who I am. Not anymore.

The upcoming weekend will be a busy one, I have a memorial dinner tomorrow and a baby shower on Sunday. I will come back to blog though, as neither of these things is an excuse for laziness ;)

Good News and Bad...

2009-09-24T10:41:00.004-04:00

The bad news first......It was not a good day for me yesterday. I did everything right until lunch time, which came late and I wasn't prepared. I could have made an egg or opened a can of tuna...I could have done a lot of things, but I chose the easy route and had a breaded chicken cutlet for lunch
:( not good.

Then, to make matters worse, I had a huge spoon full of peanut butter last night...sigh...It's definitely time to shop for some better choice foods and snacks....so the good news is, today will be a better day.

Finally...

2009-09-23T01:45:00.003-04:00

...I can actually sit down and write my blog. I've been crazy busy doing things that need doing this time of year. Most people get crazy doing their spring cleaning, I do Autumn cleaning and cleaning out.

Gina's new job is working out really great and my son is doing an amazing job at being a junior. I'm doing a great job at staying healthy and moving more body parts than I've moved in some time. There are days when I want to throw it all to hell and pick up a piece of pizza, but I don't do it. I'm getting closer to 200 than 300 lbs. now and it's a great feeling. I haven't been down this low in about 7 years, which means, I took off in 6 months what it took me 7 years to put on. Yeah, that feels better than great, it's exhilarating! It actually makes me look forward to another omelet!

Enjoy your Wednesday!

Long Days.. Short nights...

2009-09-22T20:56:00.003-04:00

I just got in from the gym. I had a good day on plan. They had a pizza party at work today, and I had a nice chicken salad with jalapeno ranch dressing.

I feel very good day. I felt great all day. A vacation can really make a difference in my energy level. I am being constantly praise for the loss of weight by my co-workers. It's really cool and is great support.

I just wanted to get on and blog a bit to let you know I'm doing ok.

Back in the Saddle again...

2009-09-21T21:38:00.002-04:00

It's funny how quickly we roll back into our routines.

Today was my first day back to work after vacation. The world didn't stop revolving just because I was away. Everyone asked how the trip was, and I just spouted off about how different it was from the last time we cruised.

The long work hours are back for at least another 3 or 4 weeks, but, I am recharged and ready. I am right back on the road. I went to the gym yesterday and will go again after work tomorrow.

So, I'm back in the saddle again.. and heading down the road, ready for what comes.. ready to continue the journey... ready for more change. Care to come along for the ride?

My Meals on the Cruise

2009-09-20T21:03:00.009-04:00

I took pictures of almost all of my meals that I had on the cruise. I wanted to document that I stayed on plan. I created 5 minute video clip on YouTube. Check it out:

Energized and ready!

2009-09-20T08:08:00.003-04:00

Thanks, Sunny Girl, for keeping the blog going while I was gone.. and Congratulations on your weight loss!

I am back! I am energized and ready to keep going down this road to success. I missed being able to blog, but I surely did have a nice, relaxing vacation. The cruise was just great!

I have pictures of most of my meals which I will post on the meals page. My choices were great and the Disney chefs did excellent curtailing my meals to meet my requirements. I ate good protein and lots of dark green veggies and salads.

As I said in the last post, I did make the choice to have a 'few carbs' more than I normally would for 1 meal in Palo's fine dining restaurant. I will post the pictures of that meal as well. I had 1 roll, a small slice of pizza (which had a cracker crust), and a small desert. I did not overeat at all.

I actually lost 1 pound while on the cruise, which, IS A FIRST for me. Usually a cruise would net a 5 to 10 pound gain.

What was most exciting about this trip was my 'attitude'. Previous trips were all about what I couldn't do. I was too fat to walk far, to tired to do anything physical, to embarrassed to try to do certain things... This trip was all about what I could do. I could walk around the ship without feeling tired. I could go off the ship and into the port towns. I could fit in the dining room chairs, deck chairs and all the other places which were previously uncomfortable. Most of all, I wasn't constantly 'thinking' about how my weight was limiting my fun, because IT WASN'T limiting me, at all.

As I said in the post just as I was leaving... I had been preparing for this moment for 6 months, and let me tell you something.. it was well worth the work and effort! It was a fantastic feeling not to be limited, not one bit limited!

On the cruise we made some new friends, and also a new low-carber compatriot, who himself has lost a significant amount of weight. Thanks for joining our blog as a follower, Gene!

I will be doing some video montages of the trip over the next few weeks and posting them on the 'video blog' section of this blog.

I'm energized and ready for the next stretch! I will do a formal weigh-in at the end of the month. I am back to my 60 hour weeks tomorrow, but am going to grocery shop and go to the gym today. Thanks for your continued support and comments, all of you in our village of followers!

All Good Things....

2009-09-19T06:51:00.002-04:00

...must eventually come to an end!

First, Happy belated Birthday, Sunny Girl. I missed you, and am sorry I wasn't there to send the wishes in Monday!

We're back in port in Orlando, waiting to have breakfast and then disembark the Disney Magic ship. It has been a wonderful cruise! I got plenty of relaxation and am re-energized.

I'll be blogging and posting pictures within the next dew days.

I did excellent on plan while on the ship! I took pictures of almost all of my meals and will post them on the meals page.

I did decide to endulge (but not overendulge) at only ONE meal, which was celebrating our 15th anniversary. It was a concious decision which I do not regret one bit! After 6 months of no off plan decisions, it was nice to make the choice to have this celebration with no guilt. It WAS worth every bite, and I was right back on plan at the next meal, ready to go for another streatch down the road!

More when I get home!

Autumn Energy

2009-09-18T09:14:00.002-04:00

Autumn is my favorite time of year and this one is no exception. I am feeling so energized, so alive and awake, it's even hard for me to sleep in lately. Being back on the losing track only adds to the energy I feel.

I've realized that sodium has played a part in my weight loss 'stall' and I am staying away from anything salty... I was eating slim jims because they were convenient and cheap, but the sodium was hampering my progress. I am prone to water retention, as many are, and water pills are not an option for me, so says my doctor. I was also munching sunflower seeds to curb my smoking, it helped, but I am now realizing that they are way too salty and I am now looking for unsalted ones. I came to this conclusion after speaking with my doctor and he recommended that I halt the salt and bump up the exercise which I have done as well...working my upper body (and some lower as well) has begun to work. My weight loss is on the rise and I couldn't be happier. I want so badly to be closer to 200 than 300...I can feel it happening for me finally and it feels so good!

Looking forward to hearing from Don, his trip is nearing the end of it's ride and I am missing his inspiration.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends.

Chillin' Today....

2009-09-16T12:09:00.004-04:00

I am finally doing nothing.

I've been very busy celebrating my birthday with my incredible family and some wonderful friends, it began on Sunday and continued straight through to yesterday (my actual birthday was Monday ;)

To be surrounded by so much love was just heartwarming, the hugs alone were worth turning 50. Friends had me to dinner...my mom took me to lunch and people stopped by, bearing gifts and birthday cakes, of which I had NONE! I had planned on having a piece before my birthday arrived, but I stayed true and feel so much better than I know I would have felt if I'd had it. I'm going to update my weight loss... it's now 3 more pounds lost!!! If would've had that cake, that would never have happened....so kudos to me!

So...today is chillin' time and I am doing just that. Been doodling around on the Internet and reading some blogs and thinking, "Wow, I am soooo not alone on this journey!" So many women and men are struggling with weight issues, and it's very comforting to know that we're in this together. Here's to more losses ;)!!!

Wish I was on that cruise with Don today....I think that's what I will ask for, for my 51st ... *smile*

Happy Birthday...

2009-09-14T12:07:00.005-04:00

... Toooooooooooooooo Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Down 2 pounds....I have officially lost 51 pounds total, I am 50 today, and I'm a happy woman!

Last quicky before we are off

2009-09-12T13:43:00.001-04:00

We are on the ship and I cheched the internet prices .... No way I'm paying the fee, so no blogging on the ship. Bon voyage my friends!!!

Another milestone

2009-09-12T05:35:00.002-04:00

On the plane.....in my seat.....NO.Seatbelt extenders required!!!!

Update... We're in Florida at the Orlando airport. Free internet and 3 hours till we can get on the bus to go to the ship. I was so thrilled that I could actually give back the seat belt extender to the flight attendant. I automatically asked for it when I got on the plane. The trip is starting out great.

I am posting a VIDEO BLOG that Ed just shot... Check it out.

And we are on our way!

2009-09-12T05:05:00.001-04:00

We had a good first day in Atlantic City. We went to the Tropicana and had lunch and dinner. We visited the casino for a bit and Ed did well. I had salads for lunch and dinner. All on plan.

I took pictures of my meals and will post them when we get home.

We're in the airport now waiting for the plane to Orlando. My ability to move around and keep up with Ed all day was so much better than our cruise in March. The hard work is pating off in great dividends!

I'll post from the ship if I can.

Dedicated To The 9/11 Victims & Their Families

2009-09-11T12:24:00.003-04:00

I can't help but reflect on that horrific day in 2001. It has nothing to do with weight loss or this blog and I didn't lose anyone I knew on that day, but it certainly affected my life, how I perceive the world and it brought world politics to light for me. I read more, keep myself more informed with both biased and unbiased journalism (yes, I can tell the difference) and I am just more informed now. I'm able to make better decisions about my vote and how it will impact the future for my children and theirs...having said that, I don't want to get political here, so I will move on to what I have been up to.

I have stayed on plan, working hard to insure my weight loss doesn't stay as stagnant as it's been and I think I am succeeding, I've lost a pound...hey, that's something!! I'd rather lose a pound than gain it.

Once again, thanks to Peggy and all of our friends who comment. We were even awarded the Lovely Blog Award! Thank you, Misssarahlou! I am supposed to name 15 other blogs that I would like to pass on this award to, but I don't even have the time to keep up with or read that many...so I will mention the ones I am most familiar with....

Sid
Fat[free]Me
Low Carb Jane
Chubby Chick
Mama Bear June
Ginger Farnsworth
Misssarahlou

I've forgotten how to add the links to their pages, I'm sorry for this.
Have a great week and thank you for your comments.

I've been practicing for this day...

2009-09-10T21:31:00.003-04:00

New Video Blog (click here)

for at least the last 6 months. I am so excited.

Today is my 15 year anniversary with my partner (since our service of union) and almost 18 years together. It's been wonderful. He's stood by me through thin and thick. He loves me for me, not my body, and I'm very blessed for that. I am so excited to have lost a significant amount of weight since our last cruise, and will be able to enjoy being with him as we celebrate.

I've had a good week, long working days for the last 6 weeks now, but I'm OFF and going to not think about work for even a minute.

As I said, I have been practicing for this day now since 9 March. I feel great, and know I'll have the focus to stay on plan, even though I will be surrounded with a cruise boat full of temptation. As someone really smart that I know taught me, nothing tastes as good as thin feels, and I'm on my way to thin, again, for the last time in my life.

I plan to take pictures of my food every meal. I am also going to take some video with my Flip video camera and post the 'temptations' which I turned away from. I'll blog it all when I return on a link from the main page. I don't plan to blog while I'm away, I want to go outside of everything that is 'normal' for me and just, relax, exercise, enjoy the sun and sites, and feel wonderful. Blog at you later!

Making Summertime Memories

2009-09-07T13:14:00.003-04:00

I have been super busy with all the summer things, things like getting to the beach and basically enjoying all the fun stuff with my children before school's in session once again (One is a teacher and one is a student). We've been having those last bar-b-ques and birthday celebrations and all the fun stuff. As a result of the busy schedule, I haven't even been online much in the past five days and had no time to blog, but I'm back and it's good to be here, it pushes me to think about what I'm feeling and how much I've grown emotionally through this journey. I have to tell you, I really like where I am right now, even though I have some very low moments, I climb out and always feel successful and that drives me even more....powerful stuff.

I've stayed on plan since my crab and spaghetti dinner and I am still very positive about the direction I took. It's a choice I will never regret making. I feel like a totally different person inside and my body is following my mind instead of the other way around.

Well, as the summer is slipping away, and warm days are giving way to falling leaves and cool nights to sleep by, I am even happier. This is by far my favorite time of the year and life is good, there's always room for improvement, but this is as good as it gets right now.

Things.. they are a changing...

2009-09-06T08:21:00.005-04:00

Hi all.

(New Body Shots Posted today)

First, I apologize that it has been so long since my last post. I've been working long hours and getting ready for vacation, going to the gym and trying to keep my '.....' together. I am as committed to this journey as ever, and have been staying on plan. Even with the long hours at work, I got to the gym this week on Monday and Wednesday nights.

Sunny, thank you for keeping up with things while I am not able to blog as frequently! Also, thank you for the 'way-t0-go' blog about my progress, it was wonderful.

I feel myself changing in big ways. My energy is much better, I can walk without 'panting' after my first few steps and my overall 'outlook' on life in general is so much 'healthier'.

Vacation is less than a week away now. We're going to Atlantic City on Friday and then ... surprise, surprise... our vacation plans have changed.. We are now going on a Disney Cruise instead of going to the Animal Kingdom Lodge in FL. My partner looked at me last Sunday (from over the lid of his laptop) and said to me.. 'How would you like to go on a cruise..?'. We've been on several previous Disney cruises and have always loved them.

This will be such a 'cathartic' experience for me. You see, Sunny and I had decided that we really needed to take this 'journey' we are on, after going on a cruise together with our families in March of this year. Now, 6 months later, I'm 90 pounds lighter and going on a cruise again. I can only imagine how much different it will be for me physically. I am SO>>>> looking forward to the experience, instead of dreading the 'physical requirements' as I did last March.

Yes, things.. they are a changing.. and I'm loving every minute. By the way, I plan to stay on track during the vacation. I will take video and pictures, and post them on a page linked to the blog when I return, for all to enjoy.

Update (10:38am)... I just got done mowing the front and back yards. I'm hot and sweaty, but not out of breath or flop-down tired. Historical perspective: Last summer it would take me several attempts (with sit-down sessions) to mow the yards... Now.. talk about change~!

Let's Hear It For Don.....

2009-09-02T04:24:00.003-04:00

....who has lost a whopping 90 pounds, or in the words of my daughter, Gina, "Don lost the equivalent of a Back Street Boy!!" Hehehe...pretty funny, also pretty darn amazing!!!!!! Kudos to my cuz for doing what no one I've ever known has done! Don, you're my hero!!! You continue to be my inspiration, I can't wait to hug you in person, but this is for you, for now.........................(((((((HUGE HUG)))))))

Live...Learn.

2009-08-30T21:38:00.004-04:00

What a beautiful day this turned out to be, I had my brother and his family over today and yes, I had crabs and spaghetti...yes, it was good and no, I didn't feel as good as I thought I would once I ate it. It was delicious, but I felt overstuffed and tired after the meal. I know why I wanted to taste it again, but it was definitely not as delightful as I thought it would be.

Tomorrow it's back on track, no detours. I am not going to weigh this week...it could be too disappointing, so I will skip it and move forward.

The thing about today was that I completely enjoyed being with my brother and his family and my mom came too with her pooch and a good time was had by all. What I'm trying to say is, it would have been just as fabulous if I'd had a bunless burger and a salad. People are what makes life so good, not the food. It's just not about the food anymore.

Hmmm.. What do I miss most??

2009-08-30T18:01:00.004-04:00

I don't really have anything new to blog about today. I'm doing good on plan, got to the gym yesterday. Got busy today and didn't get there, but will go again tomorrow after work. I did some good grocery shopping for the week, and grilled chicken, ribeye steak and pork chops to have as protein during the week. I'll be working another 5 day/12 hour per week, but I'm ok with that... it's what's needed for the project and I'm making some good extra money.

I was at my sister-in-law's last night and we got talking about 'What do I miss most' and it was an easy list. You'd think I'd miss things like pizza or potato chips but for me, the list is:

1. Popcorn (I pop my own in olive oil)

2. Garlic Bread with lots of butter

3. Baked potatoes with the works

That's the top three. I know I'll have these again some day, but in very very moderate amounts.

Everyone have a good week.

When you wish upon a star....

2009-08-29T11:02:00.002-04:00

I am so jazzed about going on vacation. Two weeks from today I'll be in sunny Florida at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, Disney USA.

I have spent so much energy and thought, focused on this journey that Sunny and I are on, staying on track, expanding my experience, changing my behaviors, and LOOSING WEIGHT...

I finally get to experience, really experience, the benefit of my actions. I know for the first time in 10 years, I'll be able to walk around at the park and Epcot and enjoy myself. I'm by no means 'slim', but 85 pounds less than the last time I was there is going to make a big difference. My loving partner will not have to go do all the great things alone. I may even be able to fit in some of those rides I've been wanting to go on.

My plan is to not deviate from my eating requirements, after all, they are a way of life now, not just something that I am doing temporarily to loose the weight. The exercise of walking all over the park and Epcot will, I'm sure, keep me on track concerning exercise. My goal is to go away on vacation, and come back thinner than when I left.. now wouldn't that be great!~

As a side note, I think it is time for me to commit to working out harder, not just in the pool now, but walking around the track, and starting to work out on some of the exercise machines. My hope is that I don't 'gain muscle weight', so I'll be doing lots of repetitions at lower weight, instead of trying to 'muscle build' with heavy weights/low reps. This is what I need to do to step-up to the next level, with my exercises.

The week was long, but good. I stayed on plan, but only got to the gym one night. I will go today and tomorrow. I get to go buy a few pieces of clothing for vacation today, that'll be great too!

Everyone have a great weekend.

The Blog I Never Wanted To Write...

2009-08-29T08:22:00.005-04:00

Every year around this time of the summer, I cook crabs in Tomato gravy. My brother is coming tomorrow and he is bringing the crabs, I will clean them and cook the gravy and of course, pasta. It's my favorite meal ever, partly because I grew up on it - my grandmother used to make it at her shore house every summer - and partly because it's just damn good!! I passed it up once this summer at a friend's house and it was very tough, I felt deprived and I haven't felt that way very often on this plan.

I was feeling guilty about having some this time out, but it's just plain unrealistic to think I can go on until the end without a little indulgence and then I remembered just how deprived I felt, how hard it was to sit there while everyone oooed and ahhed over how good it was. I remembered also that I won't have the chance to have it again for another year...*sigh*

I talked to Don briefly in text yesterday and told him I was going to have some spaghetti this weekend, yes, I was giving in!!!! and he completely understood, then I checked the box of spaghetti and realized that it's 42 carbs for 1/8 th of a box, which is probably 1/4 or 1/2 cup of cooked pasta!! That's more than 2 days worth of carbs for me.

I have done what I said I wouldn't do, and that's weigh. I gained 3 pounds staying on track and I know this pasta is probably going to set me back another few pounds if not more and I'm not happy about that, but I'm not going to let it get to me as I have in the past and I'm thinking that when I get right back on plan this coming Monday, my body will begin to lose again?....I sure hope so, because that's exactly what I am planning to do.

Anyway, this weigh-in on the first of Sept. should be a tough one to get through, but I'm confident that the tide will turn in my favor eventually. I'm not going to let it get me down, I am still in it to win it.

Take a breath... take a chance...

2009-08-26T21:19:00.001-04:00

and... make a change.

Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been a while since my last blog. I'm doing good on plan, and working hard. I went to the gym last night, and will go again tomorrow.

I heard the 'intro' words to this blog in a song, and got inspired to write. The reason that Sunny and I are doing well on this journey is because we did just what I opened the blog with.. we Took a breath, took a chance.. and made a BIG CHANGE. For the first time in our lives, we truly committed to the 'process'. I'm proud of both of us. I'm very proud of how Sunny has been able to pull herself up from the depression and realize that there is much in her life to be joyful and joyous about.. and her work with her children has resulted in wonderful caring beings in her life.

We took that breath, we took a chance on ourselves, and WE HAVE CHANGED~

Note: Image is the chinese character for breathe

A New Attitude...

2009-08-26T15:46:00.006-04:00

What an exceptional day! I went to my daughter's school, the one where she will be teaching her special education class in a few weeks. I met her boss then we played some music and got to work designing bulletin boards and thought up some new ideas for 2 additional boards....it was a lot of fun and wonderful spending time together doing something other than cleaning and swimming ;)

While we were there, my son sent me this picture from my yard that I posted here in my blog today. I sent him a text telling him I thought it was so beautiful and he said, "I knew you would like it." I almost cried...it might sound silly, but just knowing that he knew that about me, touched me deeply and brought to mind all the things I've taught my children without even knowing it.

To see the beauty in flowers and butterflies as a sixteen year old boy, is extraordinary....I taught him that, and I feel so good about it. I am seeing all of the work I've done for these 22 yrs. come to fruition, how wonderful is that!...I will never doubt it again.

Depression?....who has time for that when I have so much life and love around me. My kids are my life and I thank God every day that I am working toward being a healthier person for me, but for them as well. Life is exceptional and I am forging ahead with a different attitude, a sound mind and a stronger body.

And guess what?......I am off to do some exercises now. Have a fabulous day!!!

Thank you, Peggy & Don....as you can see, I am doing well :)
(((Hugs you back)))

One Day At a Time, One Foot In Front of The Other...

2009-08-24T18:51:00.003-04:00

I am having a great day. I woke up and read the comment from my last blog left by Peggy and realized that I have the power to turn this negative into a positive. I did upper body workouts today, once in the morning and again in the afternoon, nothing strenuous mind you...but it was a good thing just to get moving and feeling like I was doing something to turn this around. Her comment made me realize that keeping myself busy instead of idle is the key to happiness in this case.

Depression can take hold of you and keep you in it's grip for a long time if all you do is dwell on the negative and I didn't do that at all today. I'm also not pushing my feelings of loss down either, which would only prolong the depression in the long run. I'm allowing myself the time to grieve, but I am incorporating exercise into my daily routine and feeling more like myself, happier even :)

One day at a time, I will rise above and do what I have to do in order to succeed and be happy, because after all, that's my goal....success & happiness!

Small Sacrifices or Small Successes?...

2009-08-23T17:55:00.003-04:00

Well, here we go with another gym conversation! I was at the gym today and was talking to a friend. He is also doing a 'sort-of' Low-Carb plan. We were talking about each of our journeys and he said "It sucks how much you have to sacrifice... nothing sweet, no bread or pasta... every time I make the choice not to have one of those things, it's so damn hard and such a sacrifice..."

I thought about it for a minute or so, and realized I face the same decisions. I keep telling everyone who I talk to our journey about, that my perspective has changed on food. Here is a good example. The guy I was talking to and I are faced with the same situation, having to make the same choices each time. His perspective, "I'm suffering, I'm making concessions and sacrifices'.. my perspective 'EACH TIME I MAKE A CORRECT CHOICE, IT IS A SUCCESS~'. Big difference in perspective, and it's what keeps me making the right choices.

I'm doing good on plan. It's been a crazy weekend. Our Air Conditioning went out and will probably be out for a while (I can't even get someone out to look at it, probably till the end of next week), SO.. we had to buy a portable unit and just try to keep the living room and bedroom cool. We put up plastic barriers over the other doorways and boy... the kitchen is SO HOT and HUMID.. anyhow, it was trying, but we're handling it. I got to the gym today (Woo Hoo!). I'm getting ready for another long week. Three weeks until vacation! I'll try to blog during the week a few times.

A day at a time...

2009-08-22T07:20:00.002-04:00

Hi all. It's been another long 60 hour work week and it's really starting to dig into my energy reserves. I have never been the type of person that was 'all work and no play'... but for the last 3 weeks, with this schedule, I've pretty much been just working and sleeping (and still getting to the gym). This won't go on forever, only through the end of September, and I do have a week of vacation coming up Sept 12th (THANK GOD).

Anyway, I haven't been blogging or coming online as much as I have been, and it's because of my schedule, and not because I've slipped into a ditch, off the road. I'm still doing good on plan. The schedule is actually helping on that front, because I'm really forced to think ahead about what I need to prepare to eat each day. I'm still barreling down the road, in 5th gear and my tires are smoking! I feel good (emotionally and physically).. I'm just a bit over worked.

Ups and Downs

2009-08-22T07:15:00.004-04:00

I don't even know where to begin with this blog today, but here goes.

I woke early today to find that my busiest day of the week is a very rainy one...just my luck (another bad hair day). I have a baby shower to go to today and then a birthday party for my adorable nephew tonight. I logged on and took a look at my last two blogs and they look like they were written by two different people and I'm feeling a little bi-polar right about now.

My emotions are up and down a lot lately, which is understandable I suppose, but unsettling. I weigh myself all the time now, which is not good because it's dictating my moods. I just really want to see a loss and it's not happening. I actually gained another pound today and I am begininning to think it might have something to do with menopause. Is that even possible?...I don't know.

I don't get much exercise because my partially torn achilles tendon keeps me from doing so. It's feeling better by the way, but is NOT healed. So maybe that's why I'm not losing anything. But gaining? I can't see why and it's driving me mad. I'm going to stop weighing myself and I am going to read up on the effect that menopause may have on losing weight, if there is any. Or could it be, as was suggested by one of our wonderful friends, that it's simply the stress I've had since losing my dad? Whatever it is, I will find a way out of this. I will lose again and I will be successful.

I've actually even thought about chucking this diet and eating normally for a while and then go back on the diet, but that doesn't make much sense since it will just set me back ten or fifteen pounds and I'd have to begin again, which is something I am not looking forward to. I've simply come too far for that! Instead of chucking the diet, I've chucked that idea!!

So, off to my parties and my busy, rainy day, my frizzy hair, my bi-polar attitude and my menopause (what a mess I am).....wish me luck.

Not So Sunny...

2009-08-20T17:43:00.002-04:00

I just haven't been feeling well. I have been staying on plan though and have gained a pound even while sick, which is NOT making sense to me, but such is life on Atkins lately. Not losing this weight at an acceptable rate is really beginning to get to me and I keep hoping against hope that things change soon, but they don't, I've passed up so many amazing foods thinking it will all be worth it in the end, but....Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Not much else to say, this is a hard time for me right now, my dad's birthday was yesterday and I am missing him now more than ever. I guess it has to get harder before it gets easier?...I don't know. I'll be back when I feel better.

The new me...

2009-08-19T20:37:00.003-04:00

I find these days that I am more optimistic about almost every aspect of my life. I am so energized by this journey. I'm feeling very encouraged, knowing in my heart that I will reach my goal. It is so wonderful to feel the 'success' of it all. I am having so much positive reenforcement from my peers at work, my friends and family. DAMN.. Life really is GOOD.

I have tried so many times, in the past, to do this. I have always been so successful in all the other areas of my life, but never in this, UNTIL NOW. It's like the final hurtle that I had to learn to vault over. I hit it and fell to the ground so many times that I had given up. Now I realize that I just had to have faith in myself, that I could overcome my desire for food, and just DO IT.

It's wonderful... thank you all for being witness to the success that Sunny and I are enjoying~

Happy Birthday, Gina!!!

2009-08-18T17:30:00.002-04:00

Celebrated my daughter, Gina's birthday today and had so much fun doing it...we all went to breakfast this morning and spent the day in the pool, fun fun fun....watching a movie tonight after dinner which is cooking now.

I feel like I am shrinking more every day and it feels so wonderful, marvelous, amazingly sweet!! Flyin' high and lovin' it!!

Have a great week y'all!

The early bird...

2009-08-18T04:20:00.004-04:00

.... is sleepy and tired bird!

Hi all, just a quick note before I get ready for work today. I've been doing perfectly on plan, and even getting to the gym. I feel good. I'm excited about going on vacation in early September. I'll be probably around 90 pounds lighter than my vacation in March... what a difference. I'm excited with the the new possibilities this loss will open up when we are in Disney!

Everyone have a great day.

It's a Heat Wave~~~

2009-08-17T12:51:00.003-04:00

It promises to be another sweltering day here in NJ, we're in the midst of a heat wave, so I am out to the pool in a bit, but I had to pop in and say that I'm doing ok and staying true to myself and this journey. I've lost another 2 lbs. in the past two weeks, yaaay for me!!...and I'm feeling good, all things considered.

I have a birthday coming up this September and it's the big Five-O, Things could be a lot worse, but they were better at the big Four-O if you catch my drift. Sagging skin?...check! Wrinkles?...check! Having said that, I will now say that I'm not going to be 320 pounds like I was at my 49th birthday, and that my friends is the one thing (these days) that makes me smile.

If you're in the 90's weather wise (like we are) enjoy it, if you're anywhere near water and if you're not, stay inside!

Putting ourselves first...

2009-08-16T09:49:00.003-04:00

For many of us, putting ourselves and our needs first is a difficult task. We are taught from childhood how important it is to put the needs of others before ourselves. Don't be selfish...

It's time to break that tradition. The only way that anyone who has to travel this road, is going to get to the end, is to start bringing their needs to the table and giving them top priority. After all, how can we make ANYONE ELSE in our lives happy, give them what they need, if we're not giving ourselves what we need first?

It can be difficult to say, NO, to say.. I'm sorry, I can't, to say.. I have to do what's right for me.. we are so damn programmed against it. BUT...

If you have people in your lives who love you, and who want the best for you, then they will want you to put yourself first, your needs first.

I am lucky to have people in my life that understand what I am trying to do, that realize to do this, at times I have to be selfish and say NO. I am thankful every day for the support of my life partner, the support of my close and extended family, in this journey. My determination has kept me on this road, but their support has made the road a nice level stretch, with no 'hills or valleys' to have to endure.

Today is going to be a busy day getting all the things I have to get done to be back to work tomorrow. Through it all, I WILL get to the gym today. I'm feeling great!

Feeling Great!

2009-08-15T16:04:00.001-04:00

Today was weigh-in and I am doing well. Lost 8 pounds since the last weigh-in. I posted a VIDEO BLOG (click on link to see) to show my body progress this time and to chat for a minute.

Everyone have a great weekend!

Young Lady... Please back away from that Ledge....

2009-08-14T06:59:00.003-04:00

I can't believe we've been on this journey for 6 months now. We have both come so far. I continue to be enthused, excited and optimistic.

I wanted to post about Sunny's blog yesterday, not in a comment, but in a new blog, because I think it is important for all of our followers to see/read this.

First, I am so proud of Sunny Girl. She has been nothing less than incredible during this stormy period on the road. She has endured and coped with her situations without turning to food for comfort. I talked to her yesterday and although she her spirits were a bit low, she still is maintaining her focus. It's remarkable, and inspiring.

In her blog, she expressed how she was feeling and how she was craving what she could not have. If you read through the blog, you can hear her talk herself right down off the Ledge. That is strength of conviction, strength of purpose and pure dedication to this journey. BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO! Sunny Girl! You are an example to us all.

Staying Strong...

2009-08-13T06:04:00.006-04:00

A very good friend's cherished aunt died this week and I will visit her tonight. There has been so much sadness around me this month, it's hard to focus on anything else. I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. and I couldn't for the life of me get rid of the vision of my dad on his death bed, in his last moments. I guess this is normal and hopefully it will pass and I will be able to think of happier times soon. I need to, they just won't come to me right now.

To be honest, all I want to do is make myself some french toast slathered in butter and sweet syrup and enjoy it with a hot cup of coffee, sweetened with sugar and cream. I won't have that of course, just as I won't have the pasta with seafood sauce that I have been dreaming about. I have been feeling very deprived lately and I know it has to do with my need for comfort, I must get through this though, or I will never reach my goals in the right frame of mind. I look in the fridge and nothing that I can have appeals to me, nothing! I honestly thought I was passed this need for solace in food...but I am clearly not and it distresses me.

Just after my father's death, I felt if I could get through that without needing food-comfort, I was free and clear, but it sneaked up on me when I least expected it. I will stand strong though and stay true to myself...nobody ever said this would be easy, and it's definitely not. But I am strong, I've already proved that to myself, now it's time to prove to myself that I can stay that way!

Happy Birthday, Karen!

Inspiration comes from every ... if you only look.

2009-08-12T21:12:00.002-04:00

I have been having such a good week. I love my job, even if I am working long hours. I've been able to get to the gym twice (Monday night and tonight), and that excites me!~

Today, I challenged myself to go back into the warehouse area at work. The area is a 'clean room' environment, and in the past, I had problems getting the shoe covers on, I couldn't get a lab coat to fit... (I had to just button the top button in the past, and let it hang open around my belly).. it was just plain embarrassing, so, consequently.. I avoided going back there at all costs. So.. anyway.. I tried the lab coat.. buttoned up with room to spare, I had no problem with the shoe covers, and I didn't sweat my ass of as I walked around back there... I was so happy, that I have changed that much, and that I had the gumption to try~ I get so much inspiration from my friends at work. They really show an interest in my progress and it's wonderful to have all the support.

I was talking to Peggy yesterday, and she reminded me that I thrive on the support.. it's really what is maintaining me on this journey. To know that I'm 'Out' of the diet closet, and responsible outside myself, really helps to keep me on track. She reminded me of a few years ago, when I tried to diet, and I told her, 'I don't like telling people I'm dieting, because they keep asking how it's going, and I just don't like that...'... She said 'BOY WHAT A CHANGE' you've made.. I love her for that~ and many other wonderful traits~

SO... another few days until the weekend.. I can't wait~!

Today

2009-08-12T15:16:00.008-04:00

Feeling and doing well, relaxing today with the kids.

Sunshowers on summer days make me yearn for a past long gone.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Hang in there.. Baby

2009-08-11T08:59:00.003-04:00

Well. It's another long work week (and I don't want to seem like a baby complaining)... but :) I picture the cat hanging from the branch. Yesterday (Monday) was a good day, long, but good. I was on plan and I went to the gym after work. Day started at 4:00am and got home at 8:30pm (in bed at 9:00pm). Hardly time to pat my husband on the head and kiss the dogs! But I'm empowered with the determination to get to the end of this road!

As with yesterday, my plan is to bring an extra large salad for lunch, then eat half at lunch and half around 5:00pm (I leave work at 6:00pm). That way I don't miss dinner. If I go to the gym, as I did yesterday, there is just no time to eat dinner otherwise.

So, progress report.. DOING GREAT

A Scorcher

2009-08-10T18:58:00.004-04:00

95 degrees and only scattered clouds. It was one hot day today, so I suited up and headed to the pool right after my amazing conversation with my friend, Moe ;)...but no exercise whatsoever.

All I wanted to do was close my eyes and feel the warmth wash over me. So that's what I did. I feel wonderful after spending the afternoon doing that, it was just what I needed to re-charge and think about the future and how great it will be now that I am feeling healthier and more at ease in my own skin. I am no longer embarrassed by my size, no longer worried about losing control and needing to eat in order to feel full and tired, the kind of tired that comes from being overstuffed and bored.

I get tired now because I'm living life and enjoying being busy and useful. Enjoying doing the things that I always wished I was well enough to do. I never felt 'good' before this life journey began, I usually always felt tired and aggravated and hungry, and of course eating (all the wrong things) made me more tired and so the cycle continued! Amazing what a little discipline can do.

Tomorrow will be another hot one, so you'll know where to find me :)

Preacher Don...

2009-08-09T14:40:00.005-04:00

... Have you ever met that evangelical person, who just had to talk about their passion, and was so enthusiastic that it made you feel uncomfortable? You may have asked a question and expected maybe a half-thought-out, semi-disinterested answer, but instead, got a half hour on the person's perspective? Well...

Today at the gym, a friend of mine came into the sauna and started saying how good I looked, and how he could see how much weight I had lost. There was another guy in there, and he asked, 'How much have you lost?' and of course I said.. "75 pounds since the first of March". He gasped and said, "Well, how the hell did you do that?" He said he needed to loose about the same amount.

I began to tell him about my low-carber lifestyle, and ended up (as we were both sweating our asses off), preaching for about a half hour about choices, commitment, focus and determination... All he asked, was how I did it!!!

Finally, he left, said, 'Good luck' and 'Thanks for the inspiration'. I walked out feeling like the 'Low-Carber Billy Graham'... and a little embarrassed. Yesterday, I blogged about being passionate, but I think I went 'Just a little' overboard. I will try to be a little more subtle in the future.

What did this experience show me? Well, there is no doubt, at all, in my mind, that I am 'In-it-to-win-it'. I've never in my life been so determined or focused on a goal, any goal. I understand, though, that I have to 'pace' the enthusiasm, and not 'burn' myself out... and I surely do not want to be perceived as a fanatic.

Happy Saturday!

2009-08-08T11:23:00.002-04:00

It's going to be a pool day! The best friends on God's green earth, their children...sunshine and laughter. This is what makes a life! I feel good today and according to my scale, I am down another pound or so and that makes me happy too.

I am still having a hard time with the realization that I will never hear my father's voice again, but I'm dealing with it and moving in a positive direction, which is all I can hope for.

I have so many positive things in my life right now, not the least of which is living this low carb lifestyle. I am doing well and feeling great physically and mentally. My life is no longer hampered by my inability to breath while walking up a flight of stairs or even walk, period!

Gina (my daughter) and I went to a local diner to eat last week and I didn't ask for a table...we walked to the booths and I fit into it with ease!!! It made me very very happy! The tide is turning and the water isn't so deep anymore. Life is changing for the best, and I feel good!

Enjoy the weekend, friends.

The only life worth living...

2009-08-08T11:08:00.002-04:00

.... is one that you are really passionate about!

I heard this today, and really, it sums it all up!

So, are you living a life full of passion? I don't mean the obvious when you may think 'passion'... I mean, the things you can't live without doing, the things that bring you personal joy, the things in your life that you do because you want to, not because you have to.

Have you asked yourself lately, 'What am I passionate about?' When is the last time you pursued something that brought you joy? Life can be so mundane and monotonous, especially if we let it.

I am in such a crazy place right now in my life. I'm working like crazy, I've changed my lifestyle and am loosing the fat that I've carried around for so many years. I am passionate about this journey, about the reality of success in my sights. I'm passionate about my life and my family.

Take time to think about what you are passionate about. If it's been a while since you did anything to promote that passion, think of new ways that you can do so! We all only have one life, we should make it one filled with joy and passion!

Welcome back... Babycakes!

2009-08-07T06:15:00.003-04:00

Because I access this blog now mostly from a portal at work, I can't put comments in to existing blogs, so...

Sunny!! It's so good to have you back and blogging. I am so proud of your determination to 'stay-on-track' even through the darkest of times. You handled the entire period with grace and a strength and fortitude that I can only stand back and admire.

I was so glad to get to see you, even though the circumstances were not at all the best. You look 'Fabulous' as I wispered to you when I saw you. You are such an inpiration to myself, and everyone else here who has been concerned about you, who loves you and who wants you to succeed, and be well. So.. WELCOME BACK... You are loved.

I'm doing good on plan. I hate that I haven't had time to go to the gym, but will be there tomorrow (Saturday) without fail. I am going to try next week to go at least 2 times during the week, even though I'm working these long hours.

Each Day is a New Day

2009-08-06T09:58:00.002-04:00

Hi All...

Today is a new day.. This is the way I look at each day in front of me on this journey.

It's a new day to be positive. A new day to face new challenges head-on. A new day to be dedicated to my health. A new day to examine within and without. A new day for no compromises. A new day with new opportunities for good choices. A new day to face reality, stare it down and make changes to create a 'new future reality'....

Today is going to be a Great New Day.

Back to The Light

2009-08-06T09:37:00.003-04:00

This has been a dark 5 days for me, but I have survived it and come out on the other side, into the light so to speak.....feeling a little like I just had a very bad dream...except it wasn't a dream.

Thanks again for all of your support while I was away, it really did mean the world to me. Don gave me the extra hugs for all of you and made me feel very loved and missed while I was gone, for that I must thank him again.

I have to tell you, I can see now why all of us are struggling with our weight....especially in time of grief, we all know that people send flowers and cards and prepared, 'easy' foods that are all around us most of the time, but even more so when cooking and prepping is impossible, right? Let me tell you, the foods available to me were hoagies/subs, pizza, bagels, donuts, cake, cake and more cake, was I tempted? Yes. And for the first two days, I was running on dunken donuts coffee and slim jims...NOT GOOD. I got smart and started bringing shakes to my mom's house and even made a chicken dinner one night, just so I could be sure we'd eat something nutritious. I wanted to dive into the bag of bagels though, and oh how I wanted that cake (and I'm not even a cake person) and pizza, but I knew if I did it, it would have set me back for days if not weeks and I didn't allow myself to use my dad's death as an excuse to indulge and cover up the sadness with the comfort of food...very hard for me, but I did it and for that I am thankful to myself. I am learning that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've found new strengths I never even knew I possessed and it feels good to know I am at a point in my life where I know I can do this, am doing it and don't have to struggle so much doing it. Everyone is tempted now and then, it's how we react to it that ultimately matters. It would have been so easy to dive into that bag of bagels or donuts, YES, JELLY DONUTS ;) easy and comforting.

I did come here to read all of Don's blogs while I was away, I'd log in at night and read in silence....I just couldn't find the words to comment, but the strength is what I did find and it helped pull me through. How great is that! I will never be able to thank him enough for it. And let me tell you, he looks amazing!! At one point, he was walking toward me the other night and I thought to myself, Oh My God! His steps were quick and steady, he wasn't out of breath when he hugged me and we wrapped our arms around each other with ease. I couldn't help but smile and think how lucky I am to be on this journey with him, to be inspired by him, to have his support and find comfort in it. I am blessed.

Appreciating Life.. While there is still a chance to do so....

2009-08-05T07:16:00.002-04:00

I saw Sunny Girl last night, got a chance to give her a big hug, both for myself, and for all of you who have so kindly posted words of support and expressed concern for her. She is doing as well as can be expected, but... I had to tell her, in the midst of everything going on.... that she 'Looked Fabulous!'... She sends her love to all.

As I sat at the viewing last night I started thinking about life, in general. We don't really think, day-to-day, about 'appreciating' life... most of the time we just trudge through, doing what it takes, loving where we can, succeeding where we can... and constantly moving forward. This is the 'norm' for most of us, I think.

I realize that we need to take time to get outside that 'box' that life puts us in, look up from the road, take a deep breath, sigh, and realize, hey... I'm alive, I can breathe, I can appreciate the beauty around me, I can hug the ones I love, .... there are so many things to appreciate and be thankful for.

Today, everyone who reads this blog, please take a minute to pull back from the normal day to day routine, look around and appreciate the life that you have... be grateful for every breath you can take... and attack the drudgery of life with a new perspective.

I'm working long, hard hours, but, I have health, I have love, I have life.. and I appreciate all of it!

In the Trenches...

2009-08-04T12:24:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm in it now. I'm working the hours, but I am going to make a point to try to blog from my 'google applet' which punches through the corporate firewall, to post text on the blog (no pictures though...sigh...).

Today is good so far. I have been planning so my lunch is my biggest meal. Because I won't get home until around 7:00pm, I don't really want to have a big 'dinner' meal that late. I have been making myself a nice BIG salad with plenty of protein, for lunch each day.

I feel good. I am looking forward to seeing Sunny Girl at the viewing in center city Philadelphia tonight. I will give her a huge hug from all of you who have been inquiring about her.

More tomorrow... :)